THE LEAVING (War)

"No time, no time!"  "Out! Out!"  They were moving even as he yelled, rolling out of the Humvee.  Josh hit the ground hard, feet slamming down.  He felt the shock move up his legs.  He straightened, brought his gun up and found himself staring into eyes filled with hatred glaring back at him.  Time suddenly seemed to slow.  He heard shouts, gunfire, felt the heat of bullets, the jerk of his gun, the smell of discharged weaponry, blood raining down on the hard, dry, sand covered ground.   He heard the chatter in his com, but it didn't register.  They were both down, almost at his feet, their blood spilling onto the ground like small rivers in the sand.  "It was them or me." 

The heat from the burning Humvee was searing his backside.  He moved to his left joining Roe as they circled back to back shooting as they moved toward the cover of the bus.  Sarge yelled cease fire!  No one spoke, everyone rotated looking for hostiles.  Josh looked back at the Humvee.  "Shit! They weren't going anywhere in that!  As they stood looking at the damage, breathing easier now, sweating under all that gear, Josh thought of his promise to his Mom.  He had almost brokent that promise today. (This technique is from the book Making Shapely Fiction.  The technique is called "Trauma" and is the technique of starting a story with a traumatic event.  The opening lines could be the event itself or immediately after.  The characters reveal themselves by how they react when they are upset.  The story's success lies in the immediacy.)