FINDING PAPA

She stomped her feet across the porch and down the stairs, barely holding herself back from another display of temper. Both Mama and Papa scolded her about her temper! She struggled to hold her temper in but sometimes it was so hard! As she walked out to the barn to begin the evening chores, she thought about the changes that were coming. Jamey was very strong for her age. Stronger than most of the boys her age, Jamey was more than equal to most tasks given her. She was proud of that! She knew that Papa was proud of her. But she was afraid that she would not be able to do what Mama and Papa were going to ask of her this winter!
At 13, Jamey was tall, all legs, with blonde hair and green eyes. She liked watermelon in the summer, soup in the winter, school, and helping her mother with the cooking. She did not like cleaning out the barn, getting up in the wee hours of the morning to help feed the animals, or cleaning house. She really hated needlepoint, learning to play pianoforte, dressing in tight corsets when they went to town, and being quiet and demure in front of others.
Her sister, Sharon, was 7 and was learning to do fine needlepoint like Mama did. Mama was known throughout the county for her needlepoint. Every winter she made fine pillows, quilts, pictures, decorated linens, and clothes. She then sold them in the spring and summer. The money Mama made helped the family get through the next winter with cash to pay for the things they could not produce themselves on the farm. Jamey hated sitting through the tedious intricate stitching by stitch. She did not like the inactivity, but Mama said women must learn to be still. Mama said women needed to know how to be ‘civilized’.
This winter, Papa was going away for the first time to work at a bigger farm as a farmhand. One of the farmhands there had been injured when a horse slipped and rolled on him. Papa said it was a good opportunity to make some extra money to help pay for things. Mama was not too happy about it but she said that Papa was right. Jamey was irritated because she knew that she was going to get stuck with the outside chores most of the days Papa was away! Sharon would just have to help her whether she liked to or not! Ben and Jimmy were too young to do much helping out yet. Mama had a ‘bun in the oven’ again so by mid winter she would be too big to do the heavier chores. Papa said he would travel back and forth on his days off and do the really big stuff that needed doing like moving the bales of hay to the feeding areas, and well, anything Jamey could not do.
Jamey could not remember a time when she had not worked hard. She did not mind it so much, but sometimes she wished she could just have a day or two when she did not have to help out. Like that was gonna happen! Papa always said, “Them that don’t work don’t eat!” There were lots of fun things that happened in the summer though, like the church picnics, county fair, harvest meals, barn raisings, and whatever other reason people could find to celebrate. In winter people just holed up in their homes and worked on crafts, mending, and making things that were needed. Once in awhile, they would make candy or play games. Christmas was always a special season when people visited and socialized at parties and such.
Mama was teaching Sharon and Jamey to play the pianoforte. She said she was gonna teach Ben and Jimmy too. Jamey did not want to sit around in the heat of the afternoon and practice needlepoint, reading and writing, and music! She wanted to go out on the horse and ride, swim in the river, to just be outside! The cats mewed, rubbing up against her legs, nearly tripping her as she walked from barn to pig pen, then on to the chicken pen.
As Jamey went about the chores, she wondered for the fifth time today where Papa had gotten to. He had left the lunch table today without saying where he was going to be. She would have liked to have gone with him, but she did not get a chance to ask before he was gone. That meant another session of needlepoint and pianoforte! She just had to hold her temper in today! With Mama not feeling so well most days, she felt really bad when she got mad during the lessons. Having to face Papa wasn’t so great either! She would get stuck on some stitch or have trouble getting a particular piece of music down. The irritation would rise inside her like steam coming out the tea kettle, and her face would get red and hot. Then without even realizing it she would start swearing! Mama would get upset and Sharon would start giggling. The boys, if they were around would begin to copy her! Then she would end up in the woodshed with Papa! If only she could catch on to the female stuff as well as her sister! Jamey knew she was not cut out to do needlepoint and play music! She should have been a boy, she reflected on what that would have been like for her as she stood throwing chicken feed at the chickens.
When the chores were done, Jamey went inside to help with fixing dinner. It was not until they went to sit down at the dinner table that Papa’s absence was noticed. His place at the head of the table was conspicuously absent. “Papa must have gotten caught up in one thing or another,” said Mama. “He’ll be along soon.” After the dishes were washed, the little ones were in bed, and darkness had settled in, Mama told Jamey quietly to go to bed. Jamey could tell from the look on her Mama’s face that Mama was getting concerned about Papa not being home yet.
Jamey headed up to the small bedroom she shared with her sister. She tried to stay awake and listen for Papa, but she soon fell asleep. When she awoke to her mother shaking her, Jamey opened her eyes and realized that it was morning and she had slept the night through. “Papa did not come home last night,” Mama told her. “I have breakfast for you. I will do the chores. I want you to go look for Papa.” When Mama was with child, she did not ride horses. She did ride the buckboard once in awhile, but she said it was too rough to ride much. Jamey felt the heavy burden of concern that her mother felt settling over her like a blanket. She quickly dressed, ate her breakfast, and headed outside to saddle old Henry, their old Morgan. Mama brought her a skin of water, a lunch, and a rifle. Jamey could shoot real well. She had been taught to shoot for food or protection. Firing a gun was a serious matter and bullets were not to be wasted. Jamey understood the seriousness of her mother’s action in giving her the gun. Jamey and her mother looked at each other for a long moment. A shared understanding of the seriousness of Papa still being gone passed between them. “I’ll find him Mama. I’ll bring him home.”
As she rode away from the house, Jamey felt afraid. The burden to find her father pressed down upon her. If Papa had not come home it was because something had happened. That something was like a hand pressing the blanket of fear down on her. At the same time she felt proud! Proud that her mother trusted her to find Papa! Mama could have gotten out the buckboard, hauled up the kids and gone out to find Papa herself!
It took most of the day to find him. When she did, the fear that gripped her was almost paralyzing. He lay still, not moving. Holding the reigns of the Morgan in one hand, Jamey walked up to her father. She knelt down and watched his chest. It was rising and falling evenly. She felt a thrill of elation that he was alive! She touched his shoulder, trying to wake him. She could see the ground around his head was red with blood! That blanket of fear dropped on her again threatening to smother her! “Papa”, she nearly screamed! He did not so much as twitch!
Jamey stepped back and tried to decide what to do. Papa needed care right away. But… how to get him home? As she considered making a travaux and dragging him back home on it, she became irritated by the problem confronting her. Fear gave strength to her emotions of irritation and anger. She didn’t have time to make a travaux and drag him home! He needed help now! Her face felt hot and she lost focus. Fear that Papa would die filled her mind and made her furious! It was as though she were seeing the next moments from far away. She walked over to Papa, pulled him up to a sitting position, and slung him over her shoulders. She carried him to the horse, and lifted him up and over the back of the horse behind the saddle. She took the rope and tied him to the horse. She’d never be able to do that again in a million years!
As long as she lived, she never knew how she had managed to lift her Papa’s dead weight of 200 pounds up off the ground, let alone up and over the Morgan! Mama called it a miracle! Whenever the subject came up, Papa would smile and say she was incredibly strong! Well, he was right! (I utilize a writing technique in this story wherein I have the character doing chores, actions while thinking about something else.  This is called Juggling.)