As he dialed the phone, Jerry remembered the last conversation he had with his parents. It had been too long. "Hello? How are you son?"
"Fine, Mom, how are you?"
"We're ok, Dad is at work, I know he will be sorry he missed you.
Jerry responded, "I'll call again to talk to him. We have been really busy, Allie is taking three classes and working nearly full time. I am working 40 plus at my job. We just have so much going on. Seems like something is going on with her family all the time."
Jerry winced realizing he had hit a sore spot.
There was silence on the other end, then his mother said, "That's ok, I just wish you would remember to call more often. I, we...miss you so."
Jerry could tell by his mother's voice that it was not 'ok'. He felt guilty and he hated feeling guilty.
His voice hardened as he responded to his mother's question, "Did you get the package I sent?"
"No, Mom, not yet."
"It should be coming any day now. We are thinking of going on a cruise sometime in January or February if we can afford the time and the money. We've never been on a cruise and we'd like to try one. How's the weather? It's cold here now."
"The weather's good here, warm and sunny." Jerry winced again. Another sore point. He lived where the weather was nice all year long and his parents were heading into winter.
"Mom, you know that if I could afford it, I would bring you and Dad here to live. My job is here and Allie's family is here, and..
"Son, don't. I know all this and I want you to be happy. I am not asking you to move here. I wish we could up and move there, but we can't, at least not right now with the economy and all. I would ask, though, if I thought you'd pick up and move" she sighed, "but I accept the way things are. I just wish you would call more often. It is hard to have you live so far away, and I just wish....." Her voice trailed off.
Jerry's irritation turned into understanding. "I love you Mother. I will call more often."
They went on to talk of small things, movies, food eaten, places visited, items bought, news, and job talk.
When Jerry finally rang off, he turned to Allie. "Help me remember to call my Dad tomorrow. Let's set the calendar on our phones to call my parents next week."
She smiled at him and pulled out her phone. (This is an example of the book Making Shapely Fiction's technique called Onion. In the Onion, situations take place inside situations that are within larger situations. The characters are caught in layers of layers.)
"Fine, Mom, how are you?"
"We're ok, Dad is at work, I know he will be sorry he missed you.
Jerry responded, "I'll call again to talk to him. We have been really busy, Allie is taking three classes and working nearly full time. I am working 40 plus at my job. We just have so much going on. Seems like something is going on with her family all the time."
Jerry winced realizing he had hit a sore spot.
There was silence on the other end, then his mother said, "That's ok, I just wish you would remember to call more often. I, we...miss you so."
Jerry could tell by his mother's voice that it was not 'ok'. He felt guilty and he hated feeling guilty.
His voice hardened as he responded to his mother's question, "Did you get the package I sent?"
"No, Mom, not yet."
"It should be coming any day now. We are thinking of going on a cruise sometime in January or February if we can afford the time and the money. We've never been on a cruise and we'd like to try one. How's the weather? It's cold here now."
"The weather's good here, warm and sunny." Jerry winced again. Another sore point. He lived where the weather was nice all year long and his parents were heading into winter.
"Mom, you know that if I could afford it, I would bring you and Dad here to live. My job is here and Allie's family is here, and..
"Son, don't. I know all this and I want you to be happy. I am not asking you to move here. I wish we could up and move there, but we can't, at least not right now with the economy and all. I would ask, though, if I thought you'd pick up and move" she sighed, "but I accept the way things are. I just wish you would call more often. It is hard to have you live so far away, and I just wish....." Her voice trailed off.
Jerry's irritation turned into understanding. "I love you Mother. I will call more often."
They went on to talk of small things, movies, food eaten, places visited, items bought, news, and job talk.
When Jerry finally rang off, he turned to Allie. "Help me remember to call my Dad tomorrow. Let's set the calendar on our phones to call my parents next week."
She smiled at him and pulled out her phone. (This is an example of the book Making Shapely Fiction's technique called Onion. In the Onion, situations take place inside situations that are within larger situations. The characters are caught in layers of layers.)
Hi Valora,
ReplyDeleteI love the story here, but can you make sure to hit return each time you switch speakers in the dialogue. This will it make it easier to follow!