BLIND DATE

I was so excited when I left the house this evening. I met her on Yahoo Personals and thought that this could just be the start of something really great. Boy was I wrong. The first problem I ran into was a communication glitz. We agreed to meet at the Donegans in Schofield. Well, apparently there are two Donegans in Schofield and she was at the other one. This was somewhat easily corrected by phone. Good thing we both have cells. So the date started late. She sure is beautiful.


Once we were seated, she went to ‘powder her nose’. While she was gone, I took the liberty of ordering an appetizer. Funny thing, she has never been to Donegans, or so she said. How was I to know she was terribly allergic to the horseradish they put in the crab cakes? Her face swelled up like a balloon. I thought she was going to die right there. So I called 911. She started having trouble breathing, or so I thought, so I grabbed her out of her chair and laid her flat on the floor. She says she was telling me no, but I couldn’t tell what she was saying. I gave her mouth to mouth, and she tried to beat the crap out of me. I thought she was having convulsions because she couldn’t breathe. Apparently, she thought I was going to try to rape her right there on the floor.

The paramedics came and took her to the emergency room. I guess she really was having trouble breathing by then. I have her purse, keys, and cell phone with me. I guess I have to give them back. I am wondering if I can just mail them.